RE-construction... Long-term project

It was just a few weeks ago when we joined Mosaic church.  Going to this new church has been an interesting and challenging time for me because most of the members are evangelical Christians with a literal view of the Bible.  (At least this has been my somewhat uninformed impression of the church so far.)  So, it has made me feel like an outsider looking in.  My biggest motivation to go to church is my family, although it has been interesting to pick apart the sermons, which tend to disagree with the details but appreciate the overall message.  I certainly have enjoyed getting to know Pastor Adam and many other nice folks there.  I also feel less of a feeling of posturing or trying to impress than I felt at New City.  And as I get to know the people there more I am feeling more and more a part of the community.   However, I do wonder if I my conflicting biblical views and differing opinions on issues like homesexuality and pluralism will even...

 The image of the Father and the Son is foundational to the faith.  This image gives God a dimension of personality such that we would be hard-pressed to find an image that equally gives God such depth and clarity of personality.  For most, our father or father figures in our lives are the image of big and strong to our young eyes.  When God is given this name of Father we immediately make the connection to this big and strong image of God.  It is obviously not the only image of God that we have, but it may well be the one that comes to mind most of the time.  At least that is the way it is with me. The image of the Son is that of obedient and honorable child of the big and strong father.  In this way, the image of the Son is in relation to the Father, and not a separate part of God. However, my son Elijah is more than that, particularly to my faith.  As his faith goes, it seems at time, so goes my faith.  

 Susie is great.  She listens.  She follows through.  She cares about the little things.  And that makes all the difference because it's the little things that really count in the end.   I, on the other hand, cannot seem to get out of my own head, concerned with my own little world.  I try to please Susie in all I do but that seems to be a terrible motivator.  I'm not keeping up my end of the husband-bride relationship.   Jesus, on the other hand, was, as the church teaches, the perfect husband wedded to his very imperfect bride, the church.  He can be my example.  But how do I open my heart to him and let him show me how.   What kind of husband am I?  What kind of father am I?   Like my dad, I am a husband that allows my bride to lead.  This is not so much done out of laziness or even choice, but a feeling that I don't really know how.  I feel like the lesser of the two of us and so I le...

 Just day 2 of the blog and I think I can already sense some sense of peace and resolution about my faith.  Not that I have arrived, but I think I can sense a little change. The question I'm asking myself is why can't I just believe in the Christian faith like I used to.   While I don't begin to think I can clearly answer this question, I think I do know why the question is so important to me.  It is because the most important relationship in my life depends on it.  The relationship with my wife.  She is a believer.  She believes in the Bible and all of its stories and claims and miracles and history.  She believes in the historical doctrine of the church.  She believes in the authority of our current church and has a passion for it.  She has a demeanor toward the people of the church that doesn't place them as more important or better than anyone else, but she does have a special place in her heart for them.... And we've only been ...

 This is for me.  If you're reading this it's an accident.  Although, secretly I do want some acknowledgment here.   I'm 45.  I have been a Christian since birth.  I became a born again Christian when I was about 15.  I have been wrestling with my faith since I was about 25.  So, for the last 20 years the Christianity that I follow has been a moving target.  20 years.  That's quite a while.   It would be so much easier if I could just believe.   But, for some reason, I can't.   I can't and that is the reason for this blog.  Why can't I just believe like I once did?  I liked that version of the faith. Well, I think I did.  But, whether those were better times or if I really do feel more peace about my beliefs now, that's what I'm here to talk about.   Why do I have such a hard time just believing?  Maybe it's that I've learned more about the Bible and I just can't buy into t...